Loyal Family
by Ludwisia
Summary: At the end of the season Lord and Lady Grantham find out about Mary's suspicions about Bates. They agree to pursue the matter after coming back to Downton. But what will they do when the train ride back home ends abruptly and shakes all their lives? When tragedy strikes and grief mixes with happiness miracles can happen.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

And the family is loyal to him.

Lady Mary stood in her room with the ticket in hand and knew what the only possible thing to do could be. Bates really was loyal to the family. Maybe more than he should. Stealing the letter and forging papers for them without any explanation was an act of huge faith for which he could have paid dearly. The fact that he tasted the prison made this leap even more risky for him. The fact he refrained from killing Green in Downton when he was there meant he didn't want to do anything to bring trouble to all of them. And in the past Bates had left to protect them from infamy. Another selfless act.

So if he even went to London and helped Green fall under that car, for which he had a really good reason, then what? But the truth was that even if he was there, even if he was there to kill Green, this might have actually be an accident. Implicating him if that was the case would be a severe betrayal, because he would be hanged this time.

And it was not only Bates to consider in it. Anna, dear, sweet Anna would be severly affected if Bates was accused. The last time her husband was in jail she was ready to break. After her assault she went through a lot to keep him out of the harms way. Now, the second time in jail because of something that had happened to her might just finish her off. Life was not always fair, but this would just be cruel.

Just as she was about to throw the ticket into the fire her door opened and Cora entered the room. Mary, startled, dropped the ticket and after a moment moved fast to retrieve it, but her mother was faster.

"What is it?" the countess asked looking more closely at the small square. "A ticket from York to London… from a day before the picnic. Did you went to London through York?"

"No, mama" Mary answered without thinking. "Of course…"

"And third class? Whose is it?"

"It doesn't matter anymore." Mary tried reaching for the piece of paper but her mother withdrew it from her.

"I don't agree" Cora said knowing something was wrong. "I usually know when you're up to something and I know you're up to something now. and I expect you to tell me."

"I don't have to tell you anything. Besides, this is nothing that we should really care about."

"You care about it enough to try and keep it from me" Cora said "and that means it's something I should really be concerned about. If you won't tell me now I would go to your father and we would try to get to the bottom of it with him."

"No, mama, please, just leave it alone."

"I don't know who could have ridden to London on the day when that poor Lord Gilingham's valet was killed when everyone was preparing for the next day."

"How do you know about Green?" Mary blanched instantly.

"Lord Gillingham told me. You were really upset after his talk with him so I was worried."

"What did he tell you?" Mary asked quietly.

"That you asked him to dismiss the man and the same evening he was dead." Cora said watching as her daughter moved to the chair and sat down. "Although what would have been important to you about his valet is beyond me."

Mary decided she should stop talking. It seemed every word she uttered was somehow adding to the information her mother figured out.

"Mary, I really am going to go and ask your father, maybe he knows more what is going on with you lately." Cora threatened. "This, Green, asking your father not to take Bates to America… I know something is going on behind my back and I don't really like it."

"Bates was needed here, mama." Mary snapped at her. "Will you just let it all go!?"

"No, I most certainly will not." Cora said strongly, but quietly, knowing that being overheard from outside the door would not be good no matter what she managed to get from her daughter. "You know I can keep a secret, Mary, you know this. But I hate being kept in the dark. So, shall I go to your father to find out what you said to make him take Thomas instead of Bates to America?"

"Anna needed him here, mama." Mary finally admitted defeat. "She needed his support and she needed to be sure nothing has changed too much."

"I met them one evening at the restaurant, remember?"

"Yes, I do. I think they were trying to somehow go back to normalcy."

"After what? I know Anna was not really herself for some time but moods happen. You don't usually need a husband's presence to get it back to normal. Unless something happened between them and they needed to mend it. That scrape on her face. Did Bates turned violent? He seems to be a strong man…"

"No! Nothing like that" Mary said hastily not to give her mother a completely wrong impression. "Bates would never hit Anna. He can't even watch when she's simply sad."

"Then what happened?"

"During the concert Anna was attacked."

"What?!"

"She came down for some medicine and someone assaulted her… in a horrible way."

"Oh my God! In this house?!"

"Anna didn't tell anyone for fear Bates would get angry and kill the man, landing himself in prison and his neck in the noose. She moved back here to avoid Bates. I don't know how but Bates found out what happened to her and he managed to persuade her he didn't think any less of her but for a long time afterwards she was really fragile and simply needed him close."

Cora sat on the bed silently thinking about everything she has said.

"How could it happen here? If someone broke in here then why hasn't the police been called?"

"Nothing was stolen and nothing was broken, so I think Carson…" Mary tried to lead her mother on hoping she would accept the simple version of the story that she at one time believed, although putting it on Carson's head was giving her some headache.

"No… there is something more to it, Mary, that you're not telling me. What has Green, a ticket to London and…" Cora suddenly blanched. "Noone had broken in, right, Mary? It was the valet that… assaulted poor Anna. And Bates went to London to kill him!" Cora looked at Mary and saw the confirmation she needed. "Mary, we need to tell your father about it. If Bates is dangerous he needs to be out of this house and yur father would not let him go uness he knows why."

"We don't even know if he did it!" Mary was sying half an hour later when Cora managed to storm out of her room, find Robert and almost drag him into their bedroom to quickly relay all the story she knew so far. "He may have gone to London for other reason and never even met with Green."

"This does seem extreme, even for Bates. I know he can get angry, but he's no murderer." Robert said calmly. "But…" he started a moment later with a grave voice but wouldn't finish."

"Robert?" Cora asked, slighty scared about his thoughts. "But what?"

"If anyone hurt you or any of the girls… I think I would have asked Bates for help to do the same."

"So you've already decided he is guilty!?" Mary was suddenly angry. "We don't know. All we know is this could have been a coincidence. There were a lot of people on that street and it is said to be an accident."

"He could have made it to look like an accident, Mary." Robert admitted. "But you're right, we don't know what happened. And if we are to make any decision, whatever it is, we need to have the facts."

"What do you propose?"

"I think I need to talk with him as soon as we're back in Downton." He sighed. "I will ask him what happened."

"Are you sure he would tell you the truth?" Cora asked.

"I know it may seem unlikely to you, but I know he will not lie to me just like that."

"He may want to save his neck." Mary added. "Admitting killing Green could put him straight into the noose. And he knows what that could do to Anna."

"I'm not going to tell the police about what he told me, Mary. And I do not plan to sack him or Anna just because a terrible wrong has been done to both of them. And do not misunderstand me - if he was pushed to do this by something that was done to his wife, then I would consider him as much a victim in all of this."

"You can't be serious!" Cora said. "He may be a dangerous man!"

"Even if, he's not dangerous unless you're planning to hurt Anna…" Mary mumbled earning herself a glare from her father. "But it is true! How many times did we treat him badly just because we didn't know why he did something?" She was met with a guilty silence. "He never, never did anything that could bring us harm, unless there is something I don't know about, but I doubt. He and Anna are probably ones of really small group of people we can trust fully. And what he did for us here in London during last few days just proved it."

"And I will want to hear all about it when we get back home, darling." Cora looked pointedly at her husband. "Right now I just want you to accept that if he did do it then he needs to "

"Needs to what, Cora? To go?" Robert exclaimed. "Absolutely not. Unless you want to punish Anna as well for what happened to her. Anyway, we've already decided on what we need to do in the next days so we better go to sleep now." Robert said shepherding Cora out of the room.

"Goodnight mama, papa." Mary said a little scared now. She was having trouble with the idea of hiding what Bates might have done, but she came to think that he deserved much more from them after all the services he and Anna gave to this family. Gave freely and willingly, more than once incuring much sorrow from it. Mary just wished her parents would leave the questioning at least until they came back to Downton.

If she only knew what would happen during their return to Downton she wouldn't even waste another moment worrying about a prospect of that talk. She would probably get her parents to check the date of the return trip.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Robert, you need to sit down" Cora said with a still shaking voice. "You will not help them walking a hole in the floor."

"Cora, you go up to change and sleep" he came to her and embraced her again. I'll tell Carson to send Baxter up. "That way at least one of us can get some rest while I wait up for the return of the search party. I couldn't really sleep."

"Then I will wait up with you." Cora didn't release his hand even when he moved a little from her.

"Has mama and Isobel left?" He asked suddenly.

"Yes, they have. Your mother actually managed to persuade Isobel that there is nothing to be done right now. Edith went to sleep too."

"What about Mary?"

"She's taken Anna upstairs trying to calm her down somewhat."

"Poor Anna." Robert sat down for which Cora was grateful. "After everything that has happened to them, now that."

"Mrs Hughes offered to take care of her, but Mary refused. She said she wouldn't be able to sleep anyway so everyone who can should do it."

"It's strange to see Mary taking care of Anna like that." Robert commented hugging Cora to his side."

"And when she announced it your mother just nodded as if she approved." Cora said quietly. "I suppose everyone is seriously rattled after what happened today."

They were roused from silence after some time when Mary came into the library, still in her travelling clothes, just like them.

"Oh, there you are." She said sounding wiped.

"How is Anna?" Cora asked quickly.

"I managed to maneuver her into bed and after the powder from Isobel she is finally asleep. I just came to find out if there are any news from the search party?"

"Nothing new, Tom phoned about an hour ago to say they found some bodies down the river but nothing on Bates yet. They think most of the bodies have been taken farther." Robert suplied.

"We mustn't loose hope." Cora said warmly. "Bates managed to get out of some pretty bad situations. Certainly we need to keep Anna's spirit high until we know more."

"And what if they find him dead?"

"Mary, I'm sure he will turn up soon." Robert exuded confidence Cora knew he didn't have. "He may be a little worse for wear but he will be back to form in no time. Now, if Anna is sleeping try to do so too."

"Robert" Cora started when she was certain Mary was far enough not to hear them "what if they find him and he is really bad? What if he is paralysed for the rest of his life?"

"He saved my life, Cora, least I can do is provide him with suitable help."

Robert was surprised when his wife didn't oppose what he said like he though she would. Like she surely would have even a week before, even without all the suspicions.

"Cora?" He probed delicately, suddenly worried something was wrong. Well, more wrong that he knew, actually. "What is it?"

"I can't get it out of my mind" she admitted after ling silence. "I saw you climb back from the turned wagon. I hear him telling you to go first on the unstable part and then, when I had you by my side tumbling with the wagon into the river beneath. And I can still feel how hard it was to stop Anna from following him there. Thank God Mary was there."

"It was hard for me too, my love, seeing as he ignored all the warnings to go back for us and then let me go first to safety."

"I still remember it might have been you the search party was send after, Robert" she seemed to burrow further into him. "Every time I close my eyes I see you in his place. I can't even imagine what would have happened to me if it were you, Robert."

"I'm here, Cora. I'm alive and well" he tried to comfort her. "I just wish the cost wasn't that high. And to think we were going to question his loyalty."

"I was wrong, Robert, I can see that now." Cora said suddenly. "I thought he was a danger. And now I fear to look Anna in the eyes because of my misgivings."

"Whatever happens we will have to looke her in the eyes. And I am sure she would never judge us even if she knew about our talk with Mary. Not Anna."

"I know. Maybe that's why it's so hard." Cora said moving a little to look Rober in the eyes. "So many loyal deeds and now she may be a widow just because I am not."

When Mary entered the library the next morning she saw her parents almost the same as she left them several hours before. They appeared to be sleeping but she soon saw that they were not. She though for a moment they went down before her but she noticed they still had on them the same clothes they wore yesterday.

"Goodmorning." She said to get their attention. "Any news from Tom?"

"Nothing good, just more dead." Robert said tiredly. "Edith volunteered to drive some other people to let the first group rest a little. Tom will be home in an hour or so.

"Makes sense" Mary commented "she was the only one who came back earlier, she was more rested than any of us."

"How is Anna doing?" Robert asked to spare his wife. "Still asleep?"

"Unfortunately not." Mary said sitting down on a stool beside the settee. "She woke up very early and insisted on preparing me for the day as usual. I doubt she is going to stop to contemplate today."

"She shouldn't work right now." Cora suggested sitting up. "It must be hard for her."

"And because of that it might be better to let her occupy her thoughts with something else." Mary disagreed with her mother. "I sent her downstairs and asked Mrs Hughes to keep and eye on her. I probably didn't need, she would do it herself, but I wanted to be sure."

"I agree. Sitting with nothing to do couldn't do anything good for her nerves. Better to find something to do."

"On that note, did you two sleep here the whole night?" Mary asked disapprovingly. "That couldn't have been comfortable."

"We couldn't sleep." Cora said standing up. "Is the breakfast ready by any chance?"

"I don't thinks so. when I was down Mrs Patmore was preparing it, but we still have at least half an hour to the usual time."

"Then I will go up and change. You should too, Robert. Bat… " she stumbled, barely catching herself before spelling the name. "I'm sure Carson would help you to do it quickly."

Mary and Robert noticed Cora's trembling hands as she left the room much faster than it was needed.

"Is she allright?"

"She's rattled rather bad, I'm afraid" Robert answered after looking at the door for a moment. "We both couldn't sleep after what happened yesterday. Anyway, she is right, I should change too before breakfast. Will you stay close to the phone in case there are any news?"

"Of course."

Robert stood and patted her arm for a moment, then left the room. Mary suddenly wanted to cry. More bodies… Her father said there more bodies found. Her parents could have been among them. She could have been among them. They were safe just because Bates disregarded all the warnings and came up to their wagon and pulled first her, then her mother and lastly his father, which move probably destabilised the whole structure. She was having nightmares for most of the night, seeing everything in slow motion. Wagon moving towards the river, stopping abruptly and her father and Bates almost falling down. The valet managed to keep a firm grip on some railing and helped his master to the top again, then basicaly pushed him to go first. And when her father was finally safe on the bank the whole structure rumbled and fallen into the water, taking Bates down with it and twisting in the air so that Bates landed under it in the water. With a mass of timber and steel following him down and smashing on top of some rocks below. She and her mother barely managed to catch Anna, who leapt forward shouting and might have ended up down there too. After that everything was a blur, really. Mary was afraid to leave Anna from her sight even for a moment, the maid shaking and quiet and white as a sheet. The search party was dispatched from Downton Abbey as soon as the family came home. Other parties were bound to be sent too as many more people seemed to be lost. Fortunately most of their party left the incident with no more than scratches and some bruises from the impact. She and her parents were a little banged up, her grandmother and Isobel seemed to sport bruises but were otherwise well and Tom looked unwell but fel good enough to go with the search party immediately. Servants, travelling in another part, were mostly schocked and scared as their wagon didn't overturn. George and Sybbie, taken to their nanny one station before because of their fussiness, fortunately landed in the third class which turned the safest place. Mary checked on them and they seemed to be allright both after and now. Everything seemed to be just fine if it weren't for Bates. Unsurprisingly, when she wandered downstairs to the servant's hall only Thomas Barrow seemed well rested. The rest of the staff seemed to have had a rough night just like the family.

"My lady?" Mary jumped a little, focused on her thoughts so much that she didn't see Mr Carson coming into the room. "Is there anything I can do?" Mary thought for a moment that Carson never sounded so helpless and small like now.

"No, Carson, unfortunately we can't do anything right now" she answered smiling sadly. "I thought you would be with my father right now."

"I helped him change for breakfast and came here to tell you the meal is ready and waiting now."

"I… I can't leave, I promised papa to be here in case someone called with news."

"Mrs Hughes offered to sit vigil by the phone, you can safely go and eat."

"What about Anna?"

"One of the maids will always be with her, Mrs Hughes took care of that."

"Are you okay, Carson?" She suddenly asked. "I'm afraid with everything that was happening we forgot to check if all of you came out of it well."

"I am, milady. We all are. Except for ..."

"I know. They will find him."

Mary left the library and moved to the dining room. She was surprised to see her mother there, at her father's side, close like she was scared he would suddenly leave her. It was the first time Mary saw her mother in such state, such clingy to her father. They have always been closer to each other than the usual high society pair but now it was evident her mother took everything very bad. And her father seemed to recognize it, because he indulged her.

No one phoned, just two hours after breakfast Tom and Edith entered the Abbey with sour expressions. Tom, slightly injured in the accident was now ashen faced and dirty, his clothes telling a long story about all the ground he must have covered with the others from the search party. He and Edith were ushered to the dining room immediately with Mary and

"There is no sign of Bates" he relayed to a group watching him expectantly. "We pulled several bodies from the river, but there was no sign of him. Not in the river and no on the bank which would suggest he got out at some point."

"Would he be able to pull himself out after a fall like that?" Mary asked hopefully.

"Nobody believes he would but we were checking anyway. The other parties search the bank for any sign too. But seriously, Mary, this doesn't seem good. when we were driving through the village we got word that there were two female bodies, probably from the train wreck, fished out at the river mouth. If he got in the current like them then he would be taken to sea quite fast and there would be nothing to do."

"But the search is still on, right?" Edith asked surprised.

"It is. But they say if they don't find anything till dawn then there would be nothing to search for any longer, and I would have to agree."

"What?!"

"Mary, the river is deadly in the best places." He tried to explain. "The current is really strong and the riverbed is full of rocks. Sharp ones. It's too dangerous and strong to use a boat there, and swimming, even with full strenght is a madness. We didn't find him or any sign of him getting out by now. I don't think he had a chance to survive it."

"You're saying…"

"Until they call off the search officially nothing is closed, but we should think how to inform Anna, because I don't think he will be found."

Mary felt nauseous all of a sudden. Death she managed to bear, but she lost a husband and she couldn't for the life of her think how to break the news to Anna. The news that would surely break the maid. She excused herself and asked Tom to take care of himself then run towards her room. But instead of opening her door she moved towards the nursery and hugged her son like she didn't see him for months and started crying.

The search continued for the next two days instead of one, predicted by Tom. Mary decided, after talking to her parents, to try and keep Anna's spirits up by saying that Bates would surely be found, but it was hard. On the third day she was sitting in the library with her parents, reading silently, when a visitor arrived. He was carrying a bundle in his hands and wanted to speak to Lord Grantham.

"What brings you here, mister…?" Robert said standing up as a greeting.

"Coolidge, sir." The man answered a little shyly. "I was told I should go here to relay a message from the search party?"

"Yes, we're very anxious." He answered.

"Shouldn't we fetch Anna?" Marry suggested.

"No. We will hear what the man has to say and then get her."

"What's the news, Mr Coolidge?" Cora surprised everyone by asking.

"The catastrophe was caused by worn rails, apparently some bolts came loose as well and it was only a matter of time before the whole structure collapsed. It was only bad the train was crossing at the time."

"The reason is surely important, but we need to know of the search results, dear man." Robert snapped. "What about survivors?"

"There weren't any found, sir." The man finally admitted. "And we don't expect to find anyone despite still looking. Right now all the parties try to recover as many bodies as possible to give the families better closure, but we're certain noone survived."

"You're saying…"

"Everyone who went down with the train is presumed dead at this moment, yes, milord."

"Oh my God…" Cora paled even more if that was possible. "Poor Bates…"

"As for Mr Bates…" Coolidge said a little hesitantly "We think we found his coat. We got it from under what was left of the train." The man handed a scrape of dark fabric to Robert.

"How can you be sure it's his?" Cora asked.

"There is a small ticket attached. Seems to be from tailor. It says 'Bates'."  
"It looks new." Mary commented. "And yet I seem to recall Bates wearing the same coat for years now."

"I managed to get him to buy a new one when we were in London" a small voice sounded from the door. "He picked it up just before we left for the train station."

Mary leapt for Anna the moment she noticed the maid was loosing her equilibrium. Fortunately Baxter seemed tocome from nowhere and between them they managed to lead the maid to the closest chair. The older lady's maid seemed vanish the next moment.

"Anna, this doesn't have to mean…" Mary started, wanting to keep Anna's spirit up but the man handed the scraps he was holding to her.

"With the amound of blood that seems to have soaked into it" he said "there is no way whoever wore it could have survived, ma'am. I'm sorry."

While Anna sat motionless on the chair with Mary by her side, Cora followed Robert towards the man and they escorted him to the front door.

"Thank you for coming to us with these news." Robert said extending his hand for the man to shake.

"I wish what I had to say was better, lord Grantham."

"It's not your fault" Cora said, aiding her husband. "It's always better to know than to wander." She said looking to Carson, who was silently holding the door oper for the man. "I take you heard the news, Carson?" She asked, when the door closed.

"The news of Mr Bates' demise has reached downstairs, my lady." He answered sourly. "Everyone is deeply upset."

Cora just nodded kindly and tightened her hold on her husband's hand.

"Would you like me to attend to you, my lord or shall I sent Thomas after the dressing gong?" Carson asked. "I know it may sound insensitive, but the fact remains…"

"It's okay, Carson. I understand." Lord Grantham said with a sad smile. "As much as I would miss Bates I know we need to move on and find our normality again as soon as possible. I think I will take Thomas for the time being, but we need to start looking for another valet, because I don't think I would ever really feel comfortable with Thomas for the long run. Thank you, Carson. That would be all."

"Apart from the dowager countess" Cora added "I don't think we would be in a mood to see anyone today."

"Understood, my lady."

"Where is Anna?" Cora asked when they both returned to the library and the maid was no longer there.

"She asked if she could be excused" Mary naswered "and I told her to go rest for a while. I think she didn't fully register yet what has happened."

"Poor Anna" Robert sighed. "After everything she's been through now this."

They were stopped in musings by the arrival of Dowager Countess of Grantham, who was, understandably, mostly interested in her family and little concerned about a servant. Robert indeulged her, for once, and Cora seemed more interested in clinging to her husband to evenpolitely participate in the conversation. Mary was looking at them and nodding in all the right moments, as well as contribute as much as she needed. Inside, however, she was deeply worried about her maid. She knew the extent of feelings between the Bateses and how much Anna depended on her husband and their life together. She knew that as well as quite freshly knowing the pain that loosing one's mate brought and how she herself barely made it throuhg the day after Matthew's accident. The only thing to keep her afloat, it seemed, was Anna, always pushing her towards life but never dragging her into it. Mostly presenting the opportunity every chance she got and between just being there for her. Even ehrn it meant staying in the house for the night to attend to Mary in the middle of the night after a teary afternoon. It seemed now Mary would be able to repay Anna's unwavering devotion at least a little.

"Mary?" Edith asked, laying her hand on her arm delicately. "Are you all right?" She seemed genuinely caring for once. "You seem to be miles away."

"I'm just preoccupied with everything that's happened."

"Do you think Anna will be fine?"

"In time, yes. But right now I'm worried sick."

"She seemed solid."

"She was shocked, not fine." Mary said, careful not to sound too harsh knowing Edith was worried about Michael Gregson. Trying to repay her unusual kindness. "I fear for when she realises he's not coming back to her. That would be hard."

"Is there any way to help?"

"No that I know. Right now we can only try to make it easier for her."

Three weeks later, Mary was not sure they did everything they could for Anna. After being slightly indisposed the day of the news and asking Mrs Hughes to stand in for her for the evening she came back to work the next morning as if nothing has changed. Her face was drawn and she was much quieter than usual but she worked as efficiently as always and didn't seem tired or very distressed. Mary was happy she seemed to be working it through but the emotion quickl waned. Anna's silence stretched for weeks on end and if there was any change it wasn't for the better. Her features seemed like carved in stone, for one. On the begining of the second week, after a memorial that Lord Grantham organised for his valet friend in the church, Mary decided to ask Mrs Hughes for information and left her pantry worried more than ever. The apparent weariness seemed to be caused by long hours Anna spent working and loose clothes might have been hiding a slimming figure as Anna seemed to have lost her appetite.

"Maybe it would be for the best to ask Anna to stay here again, to live in the house again."

"I'm afraid, my lady, that I already asked and the offer was firmly declined."

"You did?"

"Her ladyship suggested it and from what I know even asked Anna herself, but Anna refused." Mary was surprised to hear such an ingerention coming from her mother. "Quite frankly we're all worried, but noone managed to get her out of her shell so far."

"Let's giver her some time. If it continues I will make her rethink. Even if I have to think of something drastic." Mary promised. "If you can just make sure someone is close in case she feels worse…"

"Mrs Baxter seems to arrange her activity around Anna when they're not both attending to you and your mother. If something comes up there is always someone ready to keep an eye, at least someone from the kitchen staff."

"Good."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Mary kept trying to persuade Anna to move to the house but another week proved to bring no change in the maid's stance on the matter. Her clothes hung on the small woman indicating viible weight loss.

"Will that be all, m'lady?" Asked Anna almost a month after the accident, preparing MAry for the day. She was looking more haggard than Mery ever saw her.

"Are you all right, Anna?" she asked looking back directly at her, rather than in the mirror.

"I am fine, my lady, just a little tired."

The words didn't really assuage Mary's uneasiness about the way Anna acted so she continued to watch her in the mirror when her maid laid out the used clothes to store them for the night. when Anna stumbled a little Mary didn't show she noticed, not wanting to embarass her, but when she suddenly blanched and braced her hand on the bed, closing her eyes tightly, she decided to take action.

"Obviously there is something wrong" she stated coming closer "and you need to rest today, Anna. I will ask Mrs Hughes to find you a room to sleep until the dressing gong."

"I'm fine" Anna said but her faltering voice showed how false the statement was.

"No, you're not." Mary caught Anna's arm and pushed her closer to sit on the bed. "Sit down, please. At least just for a moment."

Before Mary could move her to the bed fully, Anna winced, cried out, clutched at her stomach and collapsed by the bed. She was crumbled on the floor by the bed, crying silently, curled into a ball and Mary knew now for sure something bad was happening. The only though she had was to find help as soon as possible. She tried to get Anna's attention promising getting help and to persuade her everything would be all right in no time at all, but she didn't seem to get through to Anna at all. The maid was hurting - trembling despite every muscle in her body tightened to the limits. Mary just ran out of her room and thanked God when she noticed Thomas.

"My lady?" he asked seeing her distress.

"I need you to get Mrs Crawley here right now and call doctor Clarkson. Something is wrong with Anna!"

Mary came back to her room immediately after that praying that the underbutler understood the gravity of the situation. She was a little relieved, when Mrs Hughes and Tom entered in hurry.

"What's happened?" the housekeeper asked kneeling down to touch Anna on the shoulder and try to asses her condition.

"We should probably move her to the bed" Tom said. "It can't be good to be on the floor."

"Is there a room ready? I know we didn't plan on guests, but…" Mary looked at Mrs Hughes questioningly knowing if anyone could be able to think of something it would be her.

"The guest rooms are usually quite ready, m'lady" the older woman answered. "And I can get one ready in an instant if needed."

"Go, we'll surely need to get her settled somewhere soon."

"Right now I don't think we should move her, Mary" cousin Isobel said entering. She came closer to Anna and touched her forehead. "She's burning up. And it looks like there is problem with her stomach. Any move might make the pain worse."

"I hope doctor Clarkson arrives fast." Mary just said, trying hard not to worry too much.

By the time doctor arrived and went to see Anna the whole household knew what was happening. Robert and Cora were waiting in the library for any news, opting not to crowd the small space by their daughter's room. Edith sat writing some letters, but was also nervously waiting for news. Tom stood with Mary and Isobel outside the room waiting for the doctor to come out. The only person inside beside the doctor and Anna herself was Mrs Hughes. From time to time one of the maids or Mrs Baxter would emerge from the servant's stairwell to check if there were any news that could be delivered downstairs.

When the door finally opened Mary stopped breathing. The doctor seemed worried.

"How is she?" Tom asked, noticing Mary was unable to do so helself.

"It seems to be a cold" he answered. "She should be fine if she gets enough rest and eats properly."

"A cold?" asked Mary. "But she was so pale, so in pain!"

"That's because the other thing" Clarkson said hesitantly looking at Tom.

"Just tell us, please" pleaded Mary. "We need to know."

"Mrs Bates almost lost her child."

The silence that settled was a dreadful one.

"A child?" Tom whispered. "Anna was pregnant?"

"You said 'almost', doctor" Mary recovered from her initial shock "so she didn't loose it after all?"

"She is about two or three months along and for now it seems the child will survive, but we will know this for sure only with time. Right now the bleeding and cramping were severe, but not necessarily fatal for the baby."

"But?"

"Mrs Bates should be gaining weight at this point, not be slimmer than ever, she's malnourished as it is and I can't be sure everything will be all right."

"She …" Mary couldn't speak the words "this happened because she didn't eat enough?"

Clarkson though for a moment, probably to phrase everything right.

"She didn't eat as much as she should. She worked herself to the bone. I guess her immune system failed. The cold that she caught would probably make her sneeze at most if she were not this tired. As it is it hit her hard and might have caused the … problem. Right now she needs plenty of rest, plenty of food and keep away from cold. She should be all right in a week."

"Does she know?" Tom asked.

"Yes. I've given her medicine to stop the pain and take care of the fever so she was lucid enough to hear what I had to say."

"What about the bleeding?" Isobel asked finally.

"It stopped, which is good, as you know. I gave her something for the cramps as well, so she was able to fall asleep for now. I would like to leave medicine for her but someone would need to take care of that."

"I will do it, doctor." Isobel declared. "Can we see her?"

"She is asleep now and I would like it to stay that way."

"I need to see her, I won't disturb her rest."

"If you're sure…"

"Go in, Mary" Isobel said with a small smile. "I will go with Tom and tell your parents and Edith what we know."

Mary nodded and entered the guest room that Mrs Hughes prepared hastily for Anna. The younger woman was laying in the bed, obviously sleeping. Still, barely breathing and pale, but breathing slowly, regularly and laying more or less relaxed, which made Mary feel hopeful. The older woman was sitting beside the bed, still holding her hand as if to provide support even in sleep.

"No, don't get up, Mrs Hughes" Mary whispered when the woman made to get from the chair "there is no need and you are needed elsewhere." She looked into Anna's face and suddenly her eyes filled with tears. "I should have seen she was too distressed to work."

"No one knew she was that bad, my lady. She hid it pretty well."

Then Mary noticed that Anna was not wearing her black uniform dress but rather a nightshirt.

"Does she have spare clothes here in the house?"

"I went and grabbed a spare one I had freshly washed. The skirt she wore today was stained in blood and she would be uncomfortable staying in it."

Mary saw tears in Mrs Hughes' eyes and came close and put her hand on the woman's arm for support. Then she just pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down on the other side.

Through the next few days Mary spent quite some time in the room. She was sure to be there when Anna was woken up for her meals and medicines and more than once stayed when Baxter and Mrs hughes helped her change into another nightgown when the current one was soaked with sweat.

At her mother's insistence Baxter went with Mrs Hughes to the cottage to get any necessary things for the young woman. It was decided that Anna would stay in the room for at least two weeks. Every attempt Anna made to refuse was promptly destroyed by Cora, insisting that she was the mistress of the house and had a say in the matter. Then the medicines were usually making Anna sleepy and she fell asleep soon after them, letting her ladyship to have the last word.

After two weeks, however, Anna felt well enough to move on her own and had doctor Clarkson confirm it officially. She was set on returning to work and earning her keep. Especially after the doctor declared that she and the baby appeared to be fine and should continue to be so provided she ate well and rested enough. After resuming her duties Anna moved back to her old room in the attic since both Mrs Hughes and Lady Mary insisted she should stay in the house rather than move back to the cottage.

"You would be just going there and back, and making more work for yourself, when all you really should do is just rest" the houskeeper said calmly when she started the topic again. "You don't need to push yourself right now. You insist on returning to work and I can definitely understand that, but I will not let you run yourself to the ground again."

"I will not let it happen, Mrs Hughes, I know now what I need to do to keep my child safe." Anna said firmly with her hand hovering in the area of her still flat stomach. "I just don't like when everyone is fussing over me even if I am fine. And if I stay here it's going to continue."

"My dear Anna, we hover because we care. It will not stop even if you move out, it will just be much harder for us" Elsie smileda at her, putting her hand on the younger woman's arm comfortingly. "And you need to get used to this since her ladyship keeps coming down here every few days asking about your health and wellbeing."

"She does?"

"She decided you should stay here even after you're no longer serving as a maid. She told me to keep it in mind when I work out the room for your replacement."

"It still seems sad, but I need to remember that talking about my replacement is inevitable."

"I don't think Lady Mary wants to think about it yet. It's just her ladyship covering all the possibilities." Mrs Hughes led a little startled Anna to the chair. "She told me that if you want to keep the position while caring for the child and lady Mary wants to stay with you, the replacement will be temporary and we can figure out how to make it work. And I you want to stay with your child you will be welcome to stay here at the house or return to the cottage, but she would insist you will be paid as before."

"What?"

"Is that so hard to believe that she wants to take care of you?"

"A little…" Anna admitted. "I wouldn't think she would offer that much."

"I would have been surprised, but I knew for some time she can be like that. So you see, Anna, you can rest and be calm. You will have a home no matter what happens and no matter what you decide."

"I need to earn my living, Mrs Hughes, and to be able to stay where I know would be great, but I have no idea what I would do with the little one. I can't carry it with me all the time and I have nowhere to leave her."

"I'm sure your child will be welcome here downstairs."

"I doubt Mr Carson would be happy with a baby in here."

"Mr Carson would adjust, Anna, I am sure. He is much softer than he lets show."

With that both women started laughing softly. For Anna, it changed into a full fledged laugh a moment later. It felt good to laugh again, even for a short time. She haven't done it since the catastrophe and now she allowed herself that small pleasure. John told her once he liked when she laughed and smiled and she should do this as often as she could.

Anna looked at Mrs Hughes and saw a warm smile on the woman's face.

"The dressing gong will sound any minute now" she said. "I will better go fetch the gown Lady Mary wanted for today's dinner. Thank you, Mrs Hughes, for everything. I don't know what I would have done without your support."

Elsie just smiled at her and let her go out of her room before letting a few tears escape her eyes. For the first time since the train accident she wasn't entirely sure if the tears were of sorrow or happiness on seeing Anna's reaction.

The dinner or to be precise the after dinner ritual was stretching long into the nigt and didn't seem to be coming to a close in any short time. Mary excused herself at some point, just making eye contact with her mother and apologise and hurried upstairs to ring for Anna.

"Are you really ready for bed, my Lady?" the lady's maid asked coming in.

"You are" Mary answered as if it was obvious.

"My lady?"

"I'm not going to be responsible for you going to bed in the middle of the night."

"You shouldn't change your schedule because of me, my lady" Anna said distressed.

"I don't have to but I want."

"If you feel the need to do so, maybe there you should advertise for another maid…" Anna continued her train fo thoughts in a grave, embarassed voice."

"Do you want to leave Downton?" Mary snapped a little. "Because if you don't want to then stop speaking like that at once. I plan on changing my schedule and so will I do. I will not hold you responsible for my own choices. God knows you've been through enough this past few months… years even. I want you to stay" She declared. She turned in her chair and looked at Anna who was laying down her nightclothes. "I couldn't fathom why my father would miss Bates so much when he was away and had to take Thomas instead. It seemed childish. But when you were resting these past weeks I suddenly understood. And why my mother was reluctant to part with O'Brien as strange and disturbing the woman was to everyone around."

"My lady…"

"It's just… I got used to this, Anna, to the easiness and trust. It didn't really make much difference when I was younger but now I need a friend as much as a maid and I know I can trust you to speak your mind when asked and I know I can trust you with any secret I have just as it was only in my head. I don't want you to go now and I don't want you to leave after you have your baby."

"I might be forced to leave" Anna admitted her fears. "There will be noone to take care of it when I work."

"I talked about it with mama today" Mary said with a smile. "There is a nanny in the house. And a perfectly good nursery where your child could stay during the day."

"I couldn't ask such a thing…"

"You're not asking. We're offering, Anna. I'm sure this wouldn't make any difference for George to have company for part of the day. And Sybbie surely would like to have a baby in the house to pretend to take care of. And mama agrees it's a good idea."

"It's…"

"It's a good news, Anna" Mary stood up and neared her. "You can stay here for as long as you like and you'll be able to stay with me as long as you want. You will have a home and care for a long time, as long as I have any say in the matter. I just wish you would agree to move to the guest bedroom we suggested."

"I can't take so much, my lady."

"I understand, so for now I will let it go" Mary said sitting back with a smile on the chair. "Now let's get me to sleep so I can face a new day tomorrow after a long rest."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Since coming back to work two weeks ago everything seemed to have fallen into a nice routine for Anna. Her mornings were early as always, but often marred by nausea which prevented her from eating most things at breakfast. She still made a point of being there, at least to drink a hot tea with the rest of the servants. She learned at the begining that Mrs Patmore would have a plate for her for later. At first she protested she didn't need to be such an inconvenience, but the cook seemed to like lavishing her with such attention, so Anna ate her proper breakfast after preparing lady Mary for the day.

She usually did her mending and laundry in between meals, whith which task she was usually helped by Mrs Baxter. It was something she would have never expected from O'Brien but with the other woman seemed natural. They started building a friendship over time and now they felt really comfortable with each other even though it was hard to really trust someone previously allied with Thomas.

To be really fair Anna had to remark to Mrs Hughes during one of their mutual teas in the older woman's sitting room, that for the time being, even Thomas seemed to behave for her sake. It had to end or it had some ulterior motive they didn't catch but still, it was there - unusual kindness and even helping hand.

Doctor Clarkson came by once to check her over and was visibly satisfied with the result, which in turn made Anna herself happy. She was gaining weight, which was probably from Mrs Patmore's attempts to fatten her up lately, she was well rested and after a quickl examination it seemed everything was fine with the baby she was carrying. And Anna found out just how much she was really worrying about this being inside her and if she had somehow hurt it in her grief. After the good news her spirits went considerably up as did the spirits of nearly everyone.

The one thing actively bothering Anna at this point was worry etching itself on lady Mary's face these days. Everyone worked very hard for Downton, but not many servants were really aware of the financial needs that the estate was bothered with.

"It isn't even that we don't have money" lady Mary confided in her one night before bed. "We have enough to make it through, we just lack the extra boost that would push it all forward. We need to find it to invest some more to get better next year."

"Something will turn up, my lady" Anna placated. "It always does for Downton and you."

"Oh, Anna…" Mary started to cry. "I feel so helpless… If we just had this money right away we would be able to do so much. And we wouldn't have to wonder."

Anna moved closer and boldly hugged Mary. She started to pat her on the back in a calming gesture.

"I'm sorry" Mary returned to a nearly composed self after a while and pulled back. "I'm so overwhelmed with it right now and now I made mor work for you with my tears on your frock."

"It's all right, my lady."

"And I'm flying off the handle over some silly wish when you…"

"I'm fine. and this wish is not silly" Anna said looking into Mary's eyes in the mirror. "It's normal to want to improve your home as much as possible. And you're getting it better for your son."

"You say you are fine, Anna, but are you? Really?" Lady Mary asked suddenly. "I mean you can't be completely right now and I understand, loosing a husband is hard, but are you better?"

"I am" Anna answered with an honest smile. "I learn to deal without him every day still, it will be hard for a while, maybe always, but being here in the house really helps. I can feel I'm not alone."

"That's good."

After the strange evening talk something shifted again in the relationship Anna and lady Mary had. Something very strange was happening since the train wreck. They were slowly getting closer and more open with each other. Anna knew a lot about lady Mary before, that was the life of a personal maid, but last month proved to open some doors that were firmly closed before. The outburst lady Mary experienced wasn't the first show of weakness she allowed herself woth Anna but it certainly was the biggest. And Anna's admissions about her grief and mental wellbeing were certainly much more sincere and specific than before. It seemed they were much more confortable with sharing and much more eager to comfort beyond the simple relationship between a lady and her servant. She hesitated even to name what was begining to grow. But the world was changing, and maybe, just maybe, the divisions in society were really coming loose.

Anna was preparing everything for the evening just after lunch, so that she could retire for a short nap before the gong. She was having a particularly bad day with nausea plaguing her from the early morning till now. Keeping anything in her stomach proved and impossible task even with all the help and good will from Mrs Patmore and Mrs Hughes. By the time everyone in the servant's hall finished their lunch and moved to their responsibilities she resigned herself to spending the day with an empty stomach. She was weak and tired and moody which prompted her not to speak unless she had to. She didn't like to snap at people and she knew it was the only thing that could exit her mouth for now. After the lunch this changed. She didn't want to snap but she started crying over nothing instead.

There were come important chores to be done but she decided against finishing them. She wouldn't be able to finish anything anyway. It was much better to just rest for a while before the gong to try and get back at least some composure.

Anna was not, however, given much time to rest. Mrs Hughes came into her room after she managed maybe half an hour of sleep and woke her gently.

"Anna!" She said a little urgently. "Anna, his Lordship requested your presence in the library.

"What?"

"You need to go down soon."

Mrs Hughes refused to say anything more even when Anna tried to probe her. She just helped Anna get ready again after sleep and accompanied her to the door of the library, where Mary was already waiting. It unerved the lady's maid to a point of shaking. Tears welled in her eyes immediately.

"Will that be all, my lady?"

"Yes, Mrs Hughes, we've got everything we need for the moment."

Anna knew that after a comment like that the older woman would surely stay close in case anything was needed in the future. She allowed herself to be led into the room, where almost all the family sat, as well as Mr Murray. The solicitor she knew from her husband's trial looked at ehr sympatetically and welcomed her without meeting here eyes even once. It was strange.

"As we're here finally, why don't you say what you have to say, Murray" Lord Grantham said finally after some time of silence. "We might as well get it over with soon."

"All right, my lord" Murray said before turning to look at Anna. "Last week I got the message that your husband, along with all the missing people from the train catastrophe, was finally legally declared dead."

Anna almost fainted there and then. If Mary wasn't sitting be her and holding her up she would be down on the floor because of the shock this message brought.

"I'm really sorry about upsetting you, Mrs Bates" Murray said seeing the distress he put the woman in, "but I have duties that pertain to it and you."

"Can I go back, now?" Anna asked in a shaky small voice, so unlike her.

"Actually, there is more you need to hear, Anna" Cora said calmly.

"The message could be passed by telefram or a letter, but Mr Bates left a will I need to deliver to you in person."

"She is the wife and only living family" The dowager countess spoke surprising everyone. "And we all know Bates loved his wife. I don't think his will would have changed anything. He surely left everything to her, just as it would be hers by law."

"He did leave everything to Mrs Bates, that's right, madam" Murray affirmed, "but I don't think she is aware of everything that will now be in her posession."

"A house in London and our savings" Anna supplied. "Most of our money is stored in the safe here at Downton by Lord Grantham's permission."

"That's where you are wrong, Mrs Bates, as I knew you would."

"What are you saying, Mr Murray?" Cora asked.

"Bates took the money from the safe at some point" Robert said instead. "He left some amount, but most of it he took and never returned."

"He also sold the house, which was transferred back to him after he regained his freedom. So Mrs Bates probably didn't know it was sold."

"What about the money? Did he spent it?" Mary asked worriedly. "Does this mean Anna is destitute?"

"Anna will always be welcome to stay here and we'll always take care of her. She won't need for anything as long as I'm alive" Robert spoke firmly and calmly.

"Robert" the dowager warned.

"No, mama!" He stood suddenly angry. "Bates saved my life, my wife's life and Mary's. I can't repay him for the first but I will certainly take care of his wife and child whether it's keeping her here or paying for what she needs."

"That" Murray said putting up his hand to try and calm the situation that was threatening to blow "will not be necessary, my lord. Mrs Bates did not end up without money. Quite the contrary."

At Murray's words everyone in the room moved their attention back to him. Anna, who was looking with shock at his lordship finally did so too.

"All the money was invested" Murray started to explain. "Mr Bates knew me a little and he knew I could put money in some investments for him. He brought everything he had and pointed where he wanted the money to go. I set it up."

"From what you say it didn't end bad."

"Actually, my lord, it was a very good investment indeed. Mr Bates requested to take out the money immediately in case of his demise, so I started the process about a week after the accident. It took them long time to gather money for transfer. I'm here because it is ready."

"How much money are we talking about here, Murray?" Lady MAry asked, knowing Anna was in no state to take care of such matters herself.

The solicitor said nothing, just handed Lord Grantham a sheet of papet with a number that had Tobert gasp. "A well placed investement, to put it mildly." Then he handed the paper to Mary, who suffered a similar reaction.

"That's a lot of money" Mary said.

"That's why I came here" Murray said. "The whole amount can be withdrawn now, I made sure of it. But I don't think it could be, or should be, for that matter, withdrawn from the bank to rest in a safe."

"What would have happened if I was dead too?" Anna turned to Murray.

"Mr Bates didn't have any relatives and he wanted the money go to Downton. Half to be given to the estate and half to be distributed among the staff."

"Give it all to Lady Mary, then." Anna said suddenly shocking everyone. "For the improvements that need to be done."

"Anna, I couldn't" Mary protested. "It's your money, you should keep it for safety if for nothing else."

"I can stay here, I heard, for as long as I want" Anna reminded them all their promise. "Then I want Downton to prosper. Mr Bates loved this place and so do I and I would like to help it."

"Anna…" Robert started, but couldn't find more words.

"We've both been given much here, it's just fair." She stood up and looked toward the door. "May I be excused?"

"Yes, go and rest" Mary said letting go of her hand. "Let someone take care of you today, for a change.

Anna barely made it behind the door where she fainted into the waiting arms of Mrs Hughes.

After Anna left Lord Grantham turned to the lawyer and lookedat him for some time with a questioning gaze.

"When did Bates make it?" He asked. "As far as I remember you weren't here for some time and Bates visited London only with me?"

Cora and Mary knew Robert was aware of Bates' visit to London when he was travellling to America so at first they semmed surprised at his question. Then they was a sure way to get the confirmation about Bates' travel to the capital from source other that a ticket that could have been just a ticket he had from someone else, even if the situation would be improbable.

"He visited me one day last year" answered Murray. "I believe your lordship was in America at that time and took there another valet."

"Really?" Robert feigned ignorance. "I would have thought he would stay here, but I must have been mistaken."

"He came to me quite late, actually. I thought it was odd. We made the arrangements that needed to be done and I got him to the train he needed to catch in the afternoon."

"You were with him all day? Up until he took the train?" Mary asked knowing something was not truly right in the story they thought they knew.

"Yes, from the moment he arrived until his train left" he said. "Although I cannot fathom why would he need to go to York of all places on the same day."

"From what we heard" Mary turned to her parents "Green was killed in the afternoon, so it couldn't have been Bates!"

"Mr Bates came to me with his hands looking like he had been in some kind of fight" Murray said with a furrowed brown "but if you're talking about the poor man that was killed in London that day by falling under some vehicle then Mr Bates was nowhere near when it happened. I was there, going back from the train station and it was an accident.

"Oh my…" Cora whispered. "He was innocent…"

"Did you thought he was involved?" Murray asked shocked.

"I'm ashamed to admit it, but yes, we did" Robert spoke. "We've uncovered a ticket from York to London and knew he visited the capital on the day Green died. But to our defense, we didn't know he was there to set up an investement and name this estate in his will."

"You were adamant, Robert" Cora said, "adamant that he is not a threat and a friend of a family and you were absolutely right."

"Is there anything else we need to discuss, Murray?" Robert asked noticing Cora was on the verge of tears and wanting to give her and Mary place to and time to come to terms with what happened. "Or can we send you for some meal and then home?"

"That would be much appreciated, sir."

Just as Murray followed Carson down to the kitchen for the offered meal Cora moved into Robert's side and started murmuring how sorry she was to doubt him again in regards to Bates.

Mary looked at her parents and felt sudden surge of emotions. While she was sure she was right to try and destroy the fateful ticket she knew inside she was as much to blame. She was almost sure Bates killed Green and that it was his purpose in going to London. She should have known better than that. She defended him before her parents, mostly before her mother but she still thought the same. But at least now they knew and the memory of Bates would be clear of any suspicion. She should make sure the information made it to Mrs Hughes. The housekeeper should know they were all wrong in their assumptions.

When Anna slowly began regaining her senses the first thing she noticed was a feeling of being carried. Then she heard soft voice from over her and managed to understand that Mr Carson was carrying her somewhere, probably up to the attic. But the endless stairs never came and she was laid on the soft and deliciously smelling bed. The guest room she was offered several times since her near-miscarriage. There was warmth, she noticed much later. someone must have lit the fire.

"How are you, sweetheart?" She came back to consciousness to the voice of Mrs Patmore from her side.

"Tired."

"I'd be surprised if you weren't!" the cook exclaimed. "That must have been quite a shock for you."

"What time is it?" She moved to get up but felt held down by a thick cover. "I should ready lady Mary's things for dinner."

"It's late after dinner, sweet" the older woman smiled warmly. "I just came to feed you something and tuck you to sleep. Mrs Hughes took over carrying for Lady Mary for the evening, just like the Lady proposed."

"Oh my God…"

"It's okay, Anna. You rest and go back tomorrow morning."

The dinner she was given was not the usual meal Mrs Patmore used to treat her to, but it was more than enough. And it was not so much as to come back up the next morning so that was another positive thing.

After dinner Anna allowed herself to fall asleep in the nice, confortable and warm room. She told herself it would be just this once, to rest and recuperate after the terrible day she just had, but the next days made her rethink that decision. Both Lady Mary and Lady Grantham cornered her at one point of the day to make her understand just how much they were convinced she should stay in the room indefinitely. First they used the old arguments about pregnancy and need to be comfortable for the child and her own wellbeing. After Anna refused just like before when faced with the argument they came with something new. She was now a contributor, a big one, helping improve the estate and make it more profitable and so she was entitled to her own room in the house that would make her rest better and one that was closer and didn't require so much coming up and down the stairs every time she needed a nap or a moment for herself. After the serious talk she agreed.

Living in the alotted guest room made her more rested than she ever remembered being. Everything was always made up for her return and she could always count on a fire that one of the maids would build up in the evening for her. She asked the young women not to waste time on her, but none would have her coming back to a cold and uninviting room. Anna suspected Mrs Hughes had something to do with that but refrained from ever speaking about it again. It was good to be taken care of for once. Even if she woke up every morning much earlier than any of the family and came down to eat her breakfast with every other servant. She was in lady Mary's room on schedule every day and continued to work through the day as always but the warmth and comfort she slept in did make everything easier to bear every day.

Then one day after waking up she looked at herself in the tall mirror placed in the corner of the room and saw subtle changes that had begun to be visible in her body. A little fat that accumulated due to huge portions she was fed was one of them. Lack of dark circles that stayed under her eyes for long weeks. But what made everything pale was the small bump in place of her previously flat stomach that was not really fat now. It was her child. Her and John's child. Someone she would have to remind her how happy and how fortunate she was with her husband.

For the first time since the accident Anna truly smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Isobel Crawley was a busy woman. She didn't really need to be, bu she was always a very active woman and she didn't cease to be just because she lost her son. If anything, the loss made her look for more things to do. First to fill the void and then she was just too caught up to simply stop.

Now doctor Clarkson asked if she would be so good to thank with some obscure hospital that just lost it's head nurse and seemed to be falling to pieces because of that. There was noone fit to take over and the nurse they managed to find would be coming in two weeks time. But for now it was a catastrophe.

She didn't want to leave Downton for weeks and deliberately remove herself for even that small time from George but the doctor seemed really strongly about it and she finally relented. She was needed somewhere and maybe change in scenery would do her some good. So she just packed the same day and got in the train after sending a note to the estate.

The accomodations were not what she was used to these days, it was more something she remembered from when she was a nurse, long ago, but she knew the hospital dodn't have such a wealthy and deovted patron as that in Downton had so she decided not to mention it if asked. At least the room was rather clean and close to the hospital.

She decided to get to work in the morning instead of right away. Good nights sleep woudl do her good and she wouldn't snap as much the next day. That was what she thought, but it had nothing to with reality. It turned out the room was located in a quite busy place, with windows going out onto a really noisy street and she barely made it through the night without shouting. She got up the next morning feeling tired and hating everything in her path. She had a really strong urge to just pack her things and go back home the first train she could catch, but she decided against it. She promised to help and help she would.

She barely made it down the steps to the main nurses room when she heard a voice she though she knew from somewhere.

"I will do it, Mrs Sims" the voice said calmly, "don't you worry. He will not make trouble if I do it."

"But it's not your responsibility" the young woman that welcomed her the day before spoke, obviously distressed. "I should be doing that, you're not even staff."

"I stay here, so I might as well do something useful. He may be coarse with you young ladies, but I assure you after I make myself clear he will never do that again."

"Mr Smith…"

"And I told you to call me John several times already. It's as true as Smith but much friendlier."

"You're so nice."

After that comment from the young nurse there was a sound of the man walking away. He seemed to be limping considerably.

"Hello, Mrs Crawley" the young woman beamed at her when she noticed her coming down the stairs a moment later. "I hope you had a good night.

Isobel just smiled as much as she could so she didn't have to lie. "I was wondering if you could show me the place as soon as possible?"

"Allow me to get you some breakfast and then we could accompany the doctor's morning round if you'd like."

"That would be nice" Isobel replied and followed the younger woman. "Is everything all right?" she asked when she noticed how red and swollen her eyes were.

"It will be, ma'am."

"I admit I overheard your talk with a man just before I came down…"

"Oh, Mr Smith is a really nice man. He offered to help with one of the more troublesome patients" Sims said with a smile. "He is not a part of the staff but he helps a lot and stays here."

"Why does he stay here if he's not staff?" Isobel was curious. "Is he a patient?"

"Not really, at least not anymore" the young woman said grabbing a plate for her and laying it on the table between them. Then she saw the questioning glance and proceeded to explain more. "He was a patient, but with his amnesia he didn't have anywhere to go. And since he still needs some help with his troublesome leg the doctor allowed him to stay for some more. He actually started to help the moment he was able to get out of bed and so noone really brings this housing situation up."

"Amnesia?"

"He was found wandering the woods nearby, from what I heard. With no memory, with a leg that barely deserved the name at the time and really in bad shape." The young woman's eyes sparkled. "We've all grown to like him. He may be silent most of the time and he keeps to himself but he never passes an occasion to help where he can. And despite his larginess he is quite gentle when he wants to be. He's helped a lot, both to us, staff and to our patients. Especially when he reads to them in the evening. Calms most of them down a lot."

"You called him something, Mr Smith. Does that mean you know now who he is?"

"Unfortunately no. He was unable even to remember where he was from so there is no way to search and no one from neighbouring villages knows about such missing man. He was adamant we should call him something. And it just suited him. John Smith."

"I could have sworn I knew his voice" Isobel murmured.

The morning round seemed to give her all the necessary information she needed to get the place going in the right direction. Seemed the poor situation was not so much a result of poor work of the nurses but a lack of sufficient leadership and jobs distribution. That would all be rather easy to fix, she thanked God. And since she was really tired after a day of learning everything about the place tired her out greatly, she should be just able to fall asleep despite the terrible noise from the street.

She moved up the stairs and opened the door to her room just to sind some man doing something to her window. She almost shouted but realised that my not do much good because of the noise. Then she noticed a strange thing - there was no noise anymore. There were sounds making it in from the street but it was all muffled significantly.

"I'm sorry" the deep voice rumbled from the place the man was stuffing something in the cracks of the window "to have invided your room, Mrs Crawley. I just suspected noone bothered to seal the window and I know it can get quite unpleasant in the night."

The man stood up, with some trouble, she noticed, and turned to her with a small smile. "I will leave the room now, ma'am. I will not disturb you."

He moved by her with a small smile and it was then that she noticed the way he moved reminded her of someone. Then his look and his voice registered again and suddenly she knew where she knew it from. she might have spend rather little time with the staff from Downton but if she wasn't hugely mistaken she knew John Smith, or rather John Bates.

"I've had a strangest telegram this morning" Robert said to Cora when he went up from his breakfast.

"What was strange about it?" Cora asked looking at herself in the mirror and nodding at Baxter's suggestion on the jewellery for the day.

"It's from Isobel" Robert started.

"Didn't she just leave for some hospital to help them manage for a while."

"She did. But now she wants me to go there too!" Robert replied. "And she even denies me any reason. She just says I need to got there, alone, and not to say why to others. Which is, obviously, easy as I have no idea what is the reason."

"Calm down, Robert" Cora tried to stop his ranting. "It's no use to vent. Why don't you just humor her and go?"

"What are you saying?" Robert Crawley paused, never expecting his wife to side with Isobel.

"She's so withdrawn these days and she really tries to live alone. And now something happened that she really needs you to help her with" Cora said looking at him gently. "Obviously it's something important. Besides, I think the place is not really far, you would not be gone long especially if its something small she needs. And if this really is something big then you really can't leave her alone with the problem."

"Maybe you're right." Robert visibly calmed by now and started thinking clearly about details of possible journey. "I could take the car, get there by noon and best possibility be back tomorrow morning."

"Exactly."

"I thank God for you every single day, my dear" Robert moved to kiss her lightly on the lips. They were both smiling when he moved back.

"Get yourself sorted out and go so you can come back soon" Cora proposed and Robert, although reluctantly, did so.

He was travelling for several hours and he was really annoyed by now. This was the day he wanted to just relax. To take Cora for a long walk, maybe, talk to Mary, play with George and Sybbie. Instead of doing one of those nice things he was now cooped up in a car and on his way to some obscure village to some small hospital there because Isobel wanted him to come and check something.

"Is someone there?" He said soon after coming out of the car and entering the old building serving as the medical facility. "Hello?"

"Can I help you, my lord?"

Robert nearly passed out there in the middle of the hall when he moved to see who addressed him with a familiar voice. He managed to stay up but instead he was standing still with his mouth open and wide eyes.

"My God…"

"John, is someone there?" asked a feminine voice from the end of the hallway. "Oh, we didn't notice someone came in, sir" she said appearing from behind one of the doors. "Are you here for medical assistance?"

"Bates?" It was all Robert Crawley was able to say, truly.

"Excuse me, my lord?" the young woman asked clearly not knowing what he was saying. "Do you seek someone of that name? If so then I must disappoint you, there is no patient with that name here."

"Robert?!" Lord Grantham heard Isobel's voice and suddenly felt better. Even if he was annoyed at her only hours before. "You're here! I didn't expect you quite so soon."

"You asked me to get here as soon as possible, Isobel." The annoyance was slowly creeping back into his voice and manner. He moved his head in the direction where the strange familiar man disappeared but he was not there anymore. "I assumed it was really urgent and so did Cora. We decided I should get going right away."

"Does anyone know why you're here?" she asked leading him towards the stairs.

"No. Even I don't know why I'm here." Robert stopped abruptly and looked sternly at Isobel. "Will you please tell me now?"

"Not here. In my room if you please. I don't want anyone to overhear."

"Sounds serious."

"It is."

Robert didn't like the thought of coming into a woman's bedroom. It wasn't proper. But at the same time he was far too curious to insist on finding another spot. He left too much at home to come here to wait. He wanted to go back and rest at least for some time.

"Will you tell me now?" He asked closing the door behind them.

"There is a patient here" she started and then faltered a little "or former patient to be precise. He was found some time ago and stayed here because he had no place to go. He helps the staff with things like lifting the patients or calming some more aggressive ones."

"What does it have to do with me precisely? You want me to take him in?"

"Not really. I just…"

"Isobel?"

"When I came here he seemed familiar somehow and I recently realised why."

"You're talking about Bates, aren't you?"

"How do you know?"

"I saw him just as I came here. Then the nurse came and he went away" Robert admitted. "I was so shocked I couldn't even do anything and then he was gone so fast it almost seemed like it was just some vision. But he is here, isn't he?"

"I think so" Isobel said. "The timeline seems to fit and damage his body went through is consistent to what might have happened to Bates. And since this man has no memory we can't really say definitely anything."

"When can I take him home?" Robert asked eagerly.

"It's not so easy, Robert" Isobel coolled him down. "For one, he might seem okay, but both his leg and his spine are far from good."

"Spine?"

"Remember when Matthew… when he was injured, how his spine took damage?"

"How could I forget… But Bates is walking. With a cane, but walking."

"I managed to get some information since I saw him and realised who he might be and his knee is all but shattered. It was operated on and is functioning but the doctor said not to hope for anything more than pain free as long as he doesn't overdo it. The spine was bruised more severly than Matthew's and is giving him pain. A lot of pain, actually, but he doesn't aknowledge it most of the time. The medical remedy for it is quite costly and for a man with no identity virtually unattainable."

"I will pay, of course" Robert seemed outraged. "Is there any other problem it causes for his activities?"

"He works a lot here, but he needs to rest every hour or so and he still is far from capable of doing most of the delicate things because of a tremor in his hands. And he tires easily. And the doctor and nurses here try to keep up with some massages that ease the symptoms he has."

"Isobel, will doctor Clarkson be able to take over his care in Downton?"

"It will…"

"I know, it will cost me money. But will he?"

"I suppose so."

"Then it's settled. He's coming back with me to the Abbey,"

"You need to organize it well."

"I will write a letter to Cora and ask what she thinks should be done and have some conversations with Bates here in the meantime."

"I think that might be a good idea" Isobel admitted. "And you need to make sure it will be done right for his wife. That poor girl would have a hard time with this whole situation, no doubt. And in her contition it will be even worse."

"That's what I will leave to Cora and Mrs Hughes to sort out. but he needs to come home as soon as possible to start remembering."

"And if he doesn't remember ever?"

"Then he will make a new life for himself there. Just like he once did and we will all help him."

"Robert, do you understand what you are going to take on? This man is battered, probably won't ever be fully healed and doesn't even remember his past."

"Hard to believe such words from your mouth" Robert stared at her. "This man saved me and my family. I owe him much more than I can ever give and I will do what I can. And I think Anna might be happy to have him back alive whatever the circumstances."

"She probably will be extatic. But it will, nevertheless, be very hard on her."

"Let's hope he remembers, but if he doesn't then I suppose he might fall in love with her again. They are strangely suited to each other despite obvious differences."

"He might not…"

"Let's just start with getting him back."

The next few days were really very tiring for Robert. After writing a short note for Cora he sent the car with it back to the Abbey to make the process go faster. He lodged in a place in the village that one of the nurses said to be acceptable but found it really unsuitable and much below Grantham Arms' standard. One consolation for him was an occassion to meet and talk to Bates. They were calling him John for some reason and Robert was glad that at least he wouldn't have to relearn his name all over again. But the man was still mostly lost in the world. He did, as Isober warned him, tire more easily than he remembered and he sometimes let some groan slip his mouth. But even with his hands trembling, which increased as the day progressed, he was quite skillful. Lord Grantham was sure the man could quite nicely fill the role of a valet for him again. And that was something he could use.

"John, do you have a minute?" He asked Bates in the evening when the whole hospital seemed to fall calm. He was just talking to Isobel in her room and saw his friend and servant sitting in the small park by the building.

"Of course, my lord" the man answered with a small smile. "If you just excuse me sitting down. I need to, unfortunately."

"Don't worry about that, my dear fellow." Only after saying that he recognized how he adressed Bates. "Look, I know you probably would like to earn your living instead of living here on charity."

"I would, but I'm not sure anyone would have me like I am. I wrote and advertisement to a paper but the man in the post office wouldn't really send it knowing I am not identifiable."

"I think I may help."

"You, m'lord?"

"Right now I'm awaiting a letter from home which would settle if I still have a valet or not. If not, then maybe…"

"I don't think I would be of much help to you, sir."

"I think you would be. I've seen what you do here and you are valued" Robert tried to do everything not to scare him off. "Look, I'm willing to give you a chance. If you're not the men I seek we'll know it very soon and you can just go someplace else. But if you'd like to try I might take you on. If there is a place, mind you, I don't know it yet. I will tomorrow probably."

"Are you serious, m'lord?"

"I am. What do you say?"

"If you don't have a valet then I would be willing to try it."

"Good."

The letter from Cora arrived first thing in the morning and Robert had to thank his driver for it since it probably took him all night to get it. He set him up in his room until midday and started preparing for taking Bates with him. Bates was coming home.

The whole houshold was on high alert that day. Everyone knew his Lordship was to return home that afternoon or the next morning and would be bringing Mr Bates back to them. Everyone had to know since it was advised by Isobel and approved by Cora that the man was allowed to remember everything in his own pace and not be thrust into a situation and supposed to recall everything at once. To this effect everyone was to behave as if they never met him before.

Mrs Hughes stayed with Anna for most of the day so she would not miss the arrival of the former valet. The lady's maid knew, of course, that her husband was to return and in what condition but nobody was disillusioned that she would be able to pretend like the rest fo the staff and family. She was his wife after all and she did miss him terribly. And she was carrying his child who would now have a chance of having a father if only Bates remembered.

When the car finally drove up to the entrance Carson was sure to welcome Lord Grantham and they exchanged the usual greetings. After that Robert mentioned to the butler the new valer and Carson was sure to greet John and then lead him to the servants hall through the back entrance.

The old-new valet, as Carson noticed, was walking with a visible limp that must have been giving him a lot of trouble. The butler immediately remembered Bates' first day at Downton and suddely berated himself for such thoughts. The man managed to do his job then and for years after and he would be able to do it again now.

Most of the staff were gathered in the servants hall, mainly to contain any problems with individual introductions throughout the day. Anna lifted her eyes immediately after they entered the room and instantly started trembling. Mrs Hughes noticed and hugged her lightly to help her and to conceal the fact. Carson understood what the houskeeper was saying with her eyes and decided to forego the individual introductions. He just mentioned everyone by name after introducing him as 'Mr Smith' quickly and dismissed them for their tasks.

Mrs Hughes smiled warmly at the new arrival.

"I need to discuss some things with Anna, Mr Smith, but I will gladly show you to your room in an hour or so." She said.

"That would not be needen, Mrs Hughes" Carson said calmly. "One of the footmen will do this soon." Then the butler turned to Bates. "You will be placed in a room left by the last proper valet. It was unoccupied for quite some time, but I'm sure the maids made good job of cleaning it."

"I'm sure, Mr Carson, that it would be a good place."

Mrs Hughes would have much liked to stay and chat for a little longer but she felt responsible to keep Anna from collapsing. She promised Lady Mary that morning to take care of the younger woman and she intended to keep that promise.

"Anna, please, sit" she said moving Anna into the chair after she closed the door.

"He's there, Mrs Hughes" Anna managed to say quietly. "He's alive, really alive."

Elsie managed just to move closer before Anna lost her composure and happy tears started falling in earnest. All the grief and heartache from previous months seemed to flow from her right now.

"Yes he is."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Carson took it upon himself to show John Smith through Lord Grantham's thins himself rather than leaving it to Thomas. It would surely end with some problem considering how much the sly man always coveted the position and how at home he seemed doing this job for the last months.

He was afraid he himself forgot some details but after a short overview of the valet's duties Bates seemed to fill almost every information by himself like he never left. He obviously thought he guessed everything and Carson just let him believe that but inside he was smiling. The man seemed to remember a lot of seemingly meaningless details and it meant his memory was not damaged beyond repair. It was an information he was reluctant to share with Anna yet, in case it didn't mean anything, but he happily shared it with Mrs Hughes when they managed to send everyone to bed after late supper.

"He just walked there and started checking if evertyhing was in it's place, I tell you" he said with smile downing his glass of tea.

"I so hope it is just a begining and his memory would return soon" Elsie smiled hopefully. "For Anna's sake if for nothing else."

"How is she?"

"She's shaken, but in a good way, I think. She was almost hysteric after she saw him, but she managed to tend to Lady Mary for the evening with a smile on her face. Frankly, I was really challenged not to smile at supper in the servant's hall when I looked at him in his place. It was empty for too long."

"Even Thomas didn't dare to sit where Mister Bates used to sit. And that's something to behold" Carson chuckled. "Although some of it probably came from Anna and her stare when three months ago someone sat there by mistake."

"She is protective of those she loves, Mr Carson, and you know it. Just like Lady Mary - you better not cross her when she is on a mission."

"Are my ears deceiving me?" Carson feigned shock. "I thought you actually spoke something nice about Lady Mary for once."

"I might think what I want but she did take care of Anna after poor Mister Bates was lost and she and her Ladyship did offer her the room."

"That they did. Now, we need to retire for the night or we wouldn't be any good tomorrow."

Elsie nodded and followed him out with a smile. The things were starting to look better and better now. Maybe everything had a chance to get back completely to normal given enough time...

"How are you settling in, Smith?" Robert asked one day when John was helping him prepare for bed in the evening. "I hope no one is giving you any trouble?"

"Not at all, sir" John answered with a small smile. "The place is everything I might have wanted and more."

Robert considered for a moment not touching the subject that was bubbling in his mind for everal days but decided to just talk about it.

"I heard" he started sensibly "that you've been spending a lot of time with Lady Mary's maid, Anna."

"She is a nice person and we do tend to prefer each others company, my lord" John aknowledged. "Is that a problem?"

"No, not really. It's just..." Robert considered how much should he disclose. "Anna's been through some rough times this last months and she just managed to get out of it before you came. I don't want her hurt."

"I... I won't, my lord. I'll do my best not to encourage her."

"Smith?" Robert turned immediately hearing the emotion he barely recognized from years back. "Do you feel something for Anna Bates?"

"It's of no consequence, sir. I give you my word that I will not make any trouble for this household."

Robert decided to let the matter drop for now but the sheer pain he saw in the man's eyes was proof that Anna once more managed to capture his heart.

"Are you sure?" Cora asked after he relied the talk to her later. "Is he smitten with her again? Not that I'm surprised."

"I am neither, frankly. As strange as that match seems to be they really are good together." Robert agreed.

"And for each other, too, Robert. Just look how they grew together. And after everything that happened they still managed to stay very much in love."

"When you have the right girl it's not so hard" Robert said punctuating his statement with a kiss.

"I'm not a girl, my darling. I have not been for some time" Cora huffed. "I'm a grandmother now."

"For me you are always the most beautiful woman in the room. And I think you actually get more beautiful every year."

"Do you think Anna can help Bates regain his memories?" Cora turned serious.

"I think yes, if he would just let himself feel." Robert said. "He surely remembered everything I liked and how I liked things done so there must be a chance for him to remember everything. Carson said he has dreams and he sometimes asks for Anna in them. Of course he doesn't know who he's calling but still..."

"There must be something left then." Cora agreed. "Now let's sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow."

The next several days seemed to pass all in a blur. The house party that Cora planned on extremely short notice, mostly to cheer up Edith, gathered a lot of guests. Thomas, who came back to his usual attitude seemed too busy to try and bully Smith which Anna thought was a very good thing. Thomas, or rather Mister Barrow, as he liked to remind everyone, seemed to think that John Bates would be an easier opponent after loosing his memories but he was sadly mistaken. John Smith proved as hard to break as his fully conscious former self. He was just easier to placate for now since he didn't have the advantage of knowing how scheming Barrow was to begin with.

The valet did everything that was expected of him, helped where he could and seemed to catch everyones fancy once again with his calm and silent pleasantness. Mrs Hughes had to admit that not remembering everything from his past might have done him good as he seemed more relaxed and less brooding. There was, of course, the problem of Anna she didn't really want to consired at the moment but it would have to be addressed after the house party. The young ladies maid was gonna start to show soon and some talk would be necessary with the staff since all of the upstairs knew everything and the downstairs almost all. Thank God noone questioned and fumed, except maybe Thomas, at her relocation to one of the upstairs room.

Anna was in a position not to be envied but she was happy, Elsie had to admit. It was probably due to her husband being alive and she remembered how Anna was in a permanent happiness for quite some time when he was released from prison. But the state could not function forever, especially when she started to show. It was obvious Mr Smith fancied Anna just as uch as Mr Bates did and they used to spend every free moment together but after Anna started to show it might go both ways really. Mrs Hughes hoped if her found out about her pregnancy before the whole thing could be explained properly he would decide to stick to his love for Anna. But realistically he would be well within his moral rights to distance himself immediately. Even if they told him everything and he came back the damage could already be done.

Every worry she had in her heart was soon pushed to the back after the servant's hall was flooded with people waiting for their breakfast. They would wait a moment longer for Mr Carson, eat in hurry and then start their day again, rushing to get everything ready for another busy day.

It was to be the last day of the house party and Carson was glad it was soon going to be over. As much as he liked to show off the house in it's full glory and with full pomp there was already too much going on to fully appreciate guests. Lord and Lady Crawley seemed to be of similar mind when they talked in the morning with him but it would be too much to expect for them to admit as much. They set this thing up long before everything seemed to complicate in the house and it would be nearly impossible to cancel at the last moment. Even if possible, the questions would start that would not be entirely convenient to answer. And so, they all solidered on, with grace and flair, but they were all happy it was all going to be finished by the end of the day.

Another concern for Carson, as well as for Lord Grantham and his wife was the welafare of the Bateses. Since the number of visiting people was rather large both needed to pull a lot of additional weight serving other people. Both of them seemed much more tired and withdrawn and through the whole party the situation just got worse.

"Carson" stated Lord Grantham when the butler was about to exit the library and go back to his duties "how are they really? Anna and Bates I mean."

"Tired, my lord. And Mr Bates has more nightmares now so I imagine he doesn't sleep as much as he would like. About Anna - I asked Mrs Hughes and the party has drained her considerably since being with child makes her more tired as it is. But they will manage."

"I know they will manage, Carson. They would both work hard on that. I would just like to be able to reassure her Ladyship that we're not working them too hard." Robert admitted. "Can I do it honestly?"

"I think so, my lord. They may be tired but I think it's good for them to have something normal for a change."

"If working at a house party can be considered normal..."

"It's a thing from the time everything was normal, my lord, that's enough."

"If you say so, Carson" said Robert without conviction. "Just make sure they rest properly after this is all over. Especially Anna. I would hate if something happened just because we assumed she can work as always."

"Mrs Hughes asked the doctor before assigning Anna additional ladies to dress. He seemed confident she would be fine with rest after the party."

"Just make sure, Carson, please."

"We certainly will, my lord."

Lord Grantham just grumbled something more and turned to his morning work he needed to finish before starting to entertain their guests. Thankfully they all had a late night the day before so their guests would not be awake probably for another half hour or so.

When the very anticipated end of the house party arrived and the servants as well as the family gathered outside the main entrance to say goodbye to the quests nobody could help but be excited. The word got downstairs that the week-long party was a complete success and Lady Grantham wanted all the servants to have a day to recuperate properly. Mr Carson admitted to such a fact after being asked during lunch so everyone was in high spirits. Mrs Hughes smiled but then looked questioningly at him and they exchanged knowing glances not many seconds after. It seemed Lord Grantham wanted to take care of their two slightly disadvantaged servants without being realy obvious and without playing favourites too much. They started by accepting Dowager's invitation to dinner to allow for everything concerning the house party to be taken care of immediately so that the next day there will be no need to do it.

Since clearing everything up earlier would clear the next day for resting everyone summoned every ounce of energy they had to make it as soon as possible. John Smith and Anna did as much as they could to help and after preparing their respective charges for bed spent several hours more downstars helping and going to bed with everyone else well into the night.

Anna was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She was too tired to even try to put her dress in order or even to put up any light in the room she occupied now. She just undressed, found her nightdress where she left it in the morning and slipped under the covers. The exhaustion that plagued her for the last month was much more pronounced now after the party and the long cleaning and helping drained her to the bone. If she didn't go to sleep immediately she would probably cry because her tiredness level.

The more she wanted to cry when she felt herself being pulled back from sleep very soon after.

"Mrs Hughes?" she asked when she was finally able to see who was gently shaking her awake. "What is happening?"

"I'm very sorry to wake you, Anna" the older woman said genuinely sorry. "There is a situation in the attick Mr Carson thinks you are the only one who can help with."

"What is it?" asked Anna accepting the robe she was handed.

"You better come and see" Mrs Hughes said with a worried look on her face.

The first thing Anna was surprised about only moments later was that the houskeeper led her to the male part of the servant's second was that she was led to John's old room, now signed "John Smith". When the houskeeper montioned her inside the sight made her want to cry. John was trashing in his bed, covered in sweat and with a terrifying grimace on his face. Probably the only reason he was not already on the floor was that Mr Carson and Thomas were holding him down. And he was calling for Anna.

"We tried to wake him up" Mr Carson said "but we didn't manage."

"He is a light sleeper but sometimes..." Anna started. This wasn't exactly her husband anymore.

"He seems to be in a very dark place right now, Anna" said Carson still pining her husband to the bed with all his strenght. "He's had some nightmares before but never this bad and never such as we wouldn't be able to wake him quickly."

"And he's calling for Anna, which I believe is you" Mrs Hughes said warmly "but he might not be conscious about it."

Anna moved closer to the bed and looked closer. She found a small space beside JOhn's torso that was available and sat there. Thomas and Carson looked at each other when the valet momentarily calmed down a notch after the bed dipped under Anna. Then he stilled altogether when she started running her fingers through his hair and whispering some calming words they were barely able to hear.

"John, please, wake up" she said when she was sure she could safely came closer. "Please, this is only a dream."

"Anna" he moaned still in his sleep.

"I'm here, John. Wake up for me."

While Anna was speaking calmly to him Mr Carson shepherded everyone outside the room and closed the door.

"Right. This should do it for now. As the situation is more or less resolved for now I suggest everyone go back to their beds. It's very late. Or early, depending on how you look at it, and the new day would ot wait for us."

The dismissal was obvious and so everyone save Mrs Hughes retreated towards their rooms.

"How did you know?" Elsie asked.

"It's not the first time, as I have said. As he seemed to have nightmares about the war I took the liberty of asking Lord Grantham if there was a way of helping a man in this predicament."

"You asked Lord Grantham?!" Elsie stood stuck.

"I couldn't have asked Thomas, could I?" he answered as it was the most normal thing in the world. "Besides I remember his Lordship coming back from the Boer War with similar affliction and that was dealt with. So..."

"So you knew there was a way. What did he tell you when you asked?"

"That the only person that could help him then was her Ladyship and that if it came to that Anna's help might be necessary."

"And you were right."

Carson and Mrs Hughes came back to the room just in time to see John sitting up in his bed, tightly held by Anna and crying. The woman was crying also and slightly moving with him. She was also murmuring some things into his head. Both the Houskeeper and the butler decided the situation was under control as much as it could. They retreated once more and released the breath they were holding for a while.

"You should go to sleep, Mr Hughes" Carson said smiling tiredly. "I will keep an eye for them here until Anna feels confident to leave him here. You and your maids bore the brunt of the work yesterday and you should get some rest before the day starts."

"Are you sure? I could stay and keep watch with you."

"I can do this myself. I doubt anything unpleasant could happen now."

"All right" Elsie decided. "But I think you should let them stay in the room together."

"It would be best for them, maybe, but it's quite unthinkable."

"Let them have it, Mr Carson, they deserve some leeway after everything. And as to respectability I don't think Lord Grantham would mind even if it got out."

"It is a little risqe." Charles warned.

"Goodnight, Mr Carson" said Mrs Hughes with a wide smile. She left, closing the dividing door with her key.

"I'm sorry, Anna" John said sitting straight after some time, when he managed to calm down. "I didn't want to make any trouble for you."

It tore Anna's heart to see John pulling back from her and her embrace just as if she wasn't his wife. After a moment she remembered he probably thought she was someone strange, that he didn't remember and a sad smile made way to her face.

"It's all right, Mr Smith" she managed to say. "I'm happy I was able to help."

"It's just..." he stumbled but continued seeing her waiting expression. "Those nightmares seem so real and I know I must have been through at least some of them. That they are probably some of my memories and that scares me a lot."

"You were in the Boer War, those memories must be really unpleasant."

"It's not just the war, Anna. It's a feeling that I had something and lost it. That I had a wife and now my life is empty somehow."

At that admition Anna couldn't contain her emotions so she stood up and moved to the corner of the room standing with her back to him. She wouldn't want to add to his anguish by showing her own tears.

"I keep reaching for her" he continued "but I can't really grasp her. Neither her face neither her spirit. I know, they told me, that I'm asking for an Anna when I speak in my dreams but that's it."

"That may be something." She tried to encourage him.

"The problem is I feel I can't continue without her even if my feelings during the day seem to say otherwise..." Anna could hear the hitch in his speech at that moment and she knew he was brooding over something. He was piecing something together very hard in his mind. "Anna... I'm calling for Anna..." His tone was full of wonder. "I'm... I'm calling for you...?"

Anna almost broke hearing his openness and at the same time how unsure he was about this. He just stared at her with so much doubt and confusion in his eyes that she wanteed nothing more than go to him and assure him that everything would soon be okay.

"Is that why you seem so familiar, so close?" John asked with a breaking voice. "Are you the Anna from my dreams?"

Anna couldn't contain her emotions then. It was too much with everything that happened recently and with all the tiredness she was in. So she just stareted weeping in the place she was. She tried to be silent but it didn't work because she soon felt a set of arms encircling he small frame and warmth from her husband spread through her tired body.

"I'm so sorry, love, so greatly sorry..."

The next thing she registered was weeping in each other arms on his too-small-for-two bed and whispering all the love they had for each other. She knew he was regaining his memories suddenly and in huge chunks at every moment. It was hard, but it was very optimistic for the future. They were getting their life back right there and then and she wouldn't trade it for a long restful sleep. Not when she was getting her husband back.

The next thing Anna could remember was waking up wrapped in warmth of John's arms with a wide smile on her face. Bates was smiling at her and moving his hands over her body. It was not an easy task as almost every move threatened to make one of them fall down from the mattress since John's big frame took almost all of the available space.

"Good morning" she whispered into his chest.

"Good morning, love." This answer elicited from Anna the warmest feeling she remembered.

"What time is it?" she asked after noticing that the sun has already went high on the sky already and the room was bathed in sun. "Shouldn't we be getting out of bed already?" She started to worry.

"I think everything is taken care of, love" he answered surely. "There was a breakfast tray for two and a note on the table when I woke up some time ago. Apparently Mr Hughes and Mr Carson decided to give us the morning off because of the last night's events. I can't say I'm sorry, really." He kissed her then on the lips.

"It doesn't really feel right to impose on them as much, but I'll take it now and worry later."

"Good" John said punctuating his happiness with another kiss. Then he became more serious and looked at her questioningly. "I have a question, Anna."

"What is it?"

"I just... I know I don't remember everything right now, but I noticed..."

"What is it, John?"

"It seems... I think you feel different than the last time I rmember. I mean, you don't really look different, but the feel..."

Anna was very confused at the begining, but then she suddenly understood what he meant. Maybe she wasn't really showing that much yet, especially with the loose cut she wore these days, but still, her body was changing and with just her nightclothes it might be noticeable already.

"Anna? I'm sorry if I upset you..."

"You didn't, John." Anna smiled at him and took his hand in hers and moved it over her abdomen, laying it where their child laid and grew. "I am different. And in a few months I would feel much much different."

It took several moments for John to really register her meaning but after he did he started grinning like a madman. He reconed he had all the right.

"Really, Anna? After so many years?"

"I found out not really long ago" she admitted. "

It took several moments for John to really register her meaning but after he did he started grinning like a madman. He reconed he had all the right.

"Really, Anna? After so many years?"

"I found out not really long ago" she admitted. "I was sure... they were so sure... that you were dead. And then I found out I was with child. I don't know if I would have pulled through after everything if it weren't for this little miracle."

"It is a miracle, my love" John admitted. "It is. And now everything can fall into place in our lives."

"There is another thing we need to discuss" Anna said after a long happy kiss they shared. "The money. Do you remember your investement?"

"I think so, yes. I sold my mother's house and invested the money in some fund. Did something happened with it? Did I made a wrong decision? Anna?"

"No, you did well. Some time ago Murray came to me with the money he cashed in from that investement."

"Well, it's been what, a year? I think I asked him to take care of it in a year if I couldn't do it myself."

"You remember that?"

"After remembering you everything seems to be back in place" he said smiling. "You are my anchor, love."

"The money is gone, John" Anna said gravely. "I thought you were not coming back and now that you are here we're once again without money."

"Anna, calm down" John noticed she quickly worked herself up into a frenzy. "I don't care about the money. We will make do without it just like we always did."

"I'm sorry, you should have come back to the money waiting for you."

"It's okay..." John soothed his wife patiently at the same time trying to devise some strategy to implement for the next years. He was reasonably sure Lord Grantham would keep him empoyed and allow them to live in the cottage so they should make do. As for more extravagant things he would find some way. Anna would not be working and there would be a baby in the house but judging by how they used their money in the past his wages should still be enough to support their little family. "Okay. Now that you've calmed down can you tell me what happened to the money?"

"Mr Murray told me you wanted me to have the money."

"Of course I did."

"I was a mess. I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to have a fortune and be alone. I just wanted you back and I was told that would never happen. I feld a little dead inside so I asked what was to happen to this money were I dead too."

"Oh, Anna." John moved her even closer if it was possible. "I so wish I would have spared you all this anguish."

"I gave the money to Lady Mary, to pay the taxes and to invest in Downton. I'm sorry, John, I don't know if we can get it back." Anna started weeping again.

In the first moment John didn't know what to do about his wife's confession but a second later a loud chuckle from deep within shook him.

"John?" Anna was lost and didn't know how to react to that. "What's so funny?"

"The way you said it I thought you somehow lost the money" he said after getting his breathing under control. "It would not have been great but we would get through it. But the choice you made... It was a very generous gift and one that will ensure our place will still be there for many years to come."

"So you're not mad about it?" She seemed surprised.

"No, not at all." He smiled to soothe her nerves. "I'm just mad at fate that you had to make any such decisions on your own and in such circumstances. That's all that bothers me. And frankly, I'm proud of you."

"You are?"

"In the time you were vulnerable and sad and most people would hoard everything you gave away for a good cause."

"They were very supportive, you know, all of them. After you were lost Lord Grantham made sure the area was searched and he didn't want to accept you were dead, up the the very last moment he could."

"He's a good man, that's for certain."

"Lady Grantham and Lady Mary were very supportive too. Especially after I found out about the child. They and Mrs Hughes made sure I ate and slept properly." Anna's face fell for a moment remembering all that transpired then. "Lately they assigned me a room upstairs, so that I am comfortable and don't have to move up and down so many stairs several times a day. They wouldn't take no for an answer."

"I can imagine..." John laughed. "Lord Grantham married a woman made of a stern stuff and their daughter certainly has a lot from her mother. So tell me, love, where do you live now?"

"Are you sure you don't want all the day off to rest, Bates?" Robert asked looking back at John who was just retrieving the evening wear for him. "Carson assured me it would not be a problem for him and you certainly have a lot to process."

"I'm good, m'lord." John smiled and helped his master into his tails. "We spent a lazy morning with Anna and it seemed to be enough. We have a lot of time to really catch up in the days to come."

"I'm just... to hell with it, Bates, I'm uncomfortable about this situation, to be frank." Robert turned and faced Bates with a strange expression.

"My lord?"

"Your money was used to pay the huge taxes for the estate, I can't give it back right now and it's unclear when I would be able to. You saved my life nearly paying for it with your own, again and now you're still dressing me on what should be your free day."

"I appreciate your sentiments, my lord, but I don't mind." Bates smiled reassuringly. "I would like to thank you, however, for all the kindness you showed Anna and me in everything that's happened."

"It was the least I could do after everything. But really, Bates..."

"It's nothing, sir."

"I gather Anna told you about the room she lives in now?" He waited for the confirmation before continuing. "You're both very welcome to stay there as long as you would like to. I hope you know it. If you'd like, your cottage was left unoccupied and I made sure someone is there every week so you can move even tomorrow if you'd prefer."

"Frankly I would like to take advantage of your generosity and stay here for the time being. I think the less change the better for the moment. And I'm sure Anna would rest more living here. But we will move before the baby is born."

"Don't do it if you want to keep in her ladyship's good graces" Rober tmurmured.

"My Lord?"

"Lady Grantham and Mary suggested that Anna work here for as long as she saffely can, have the baby here and use the nursery after that."

"That seems too much an imposition, sir."

"Nonsense. I happen to agree."

"What about the Dowager Countess? She would surely be against. We wouldn't like to make any trouble between you."

"Susprisingly she agreed it was acceptable. I think after Branson and after your sacrifice she lowered her expectations." Robert chuckled. "Bates, we would have insisted on Anna staying here at least until the baby was born and I think you would be much calmer staying here during the labour than in the cottage. And we would all be happy to have you here."

"I will speak to Anna about it, my lord."

"Now, about the money..."

"As I said, my lord, there is nothing to talk about."

"I just want to come to some sort of agreement, maybe some land or..."

"No such agreement is necessary, sir. We have a place here and that's what counts. As I told Anna this morning, the money went for a good cause and we'll make do with what we have. I didn't make that clause in my will on a whim and it all still stands now. I want Downton to prosper as it is the best that happened to me and a place where I found happiness, more than I had right to, really."

"That's very generous, Bates."

"Not really, my Lord, just the truth. Right now the only thing I really think about is being with my family."

Robert would like to say something to that, but understood his valet completely. Just like Bates had Anna he himself had his family, his Cora to keep him grounded and keep him steady. And Bates was about to become a father, which was a huge prospect since they waited so long without results.

After leaving the valet to sort out all the clothes Robert went to Cora's room to fetch her for dinner but his mind was already working on how to ensure Bates' contribution was recognized and their future as a family safe even if anything happened. It was all well for Mary to promise one thing or the other but he knew some formal arrangements should eventually have to be made. He would discuss it with his daughter later. And with Tom. They would know what to do with the situation.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Hi everyone, I wanted to thank all of you who sticked with me in this story for those 7 chapters. This is my first Downton fanfic, maybe there will be another in the future, we'll see. This is the end of the short story, an epilogue taking place several years later (two separate times in the future - one closer one much farther), lots of fluff, maybe a little improbable but I needed it, so here it is. It's been great priviledge writing for you. Thanks.

Chapter 7

Charles Carson was getting older and he knew it. His duties were getting a little harder for him every day and he hated that they did. He was loathe to leave ledgers for Mr Bates but it was much more preferable to trying to cope with them on his own when his eyes tired much easier these days. It was to be expected, he admitted, but he didn't have to like it. Mr Bates was takin on more and more of his responsibilities and doing it diligently. Since the work was good quality Carson was even happy to transfer some of his wages to the other man for the additional work.

He was bent over the ledger checking the last two weeks of notes when he heard the door of his pantry open slightly, then gently close and little feet approach him from the side.

"And what can I do for you, young lady?" He asked with his best grave voice he knew was always making the little girl smile.

"I've something for you, Mr Carson."

Charles turned fully towards her and simply had to smile widely. The small girl was carrying a huge bouquet of flowers almost bigger than herself. Those were not flowers from the garden since she and young Lady Sybil managed to get into trouble picking flowers from there earlier that year. Those were from other places, some growing on the premises.

"For me, you say..." Carson smiled and took the flowers. He stood up and went in search of something to put them in.

"Yes!" She started bouncing, happily observing how her gift was carefuly put on display.

"I thank you very much, young lady" Carson started, but then looked at her sternly "but are you sure you should be here and not somewhere else? Do the nanny and your mother know where you are?"

The silence was enough information the butler needed. It would not be the first time the girl went somewhere without telling anyone. She and Miss Sybil seemed always to get into some trouble together. Young master George seemed to compete with them but wasn't always as good in avoiding the nanny.

"Mr Carson!" He heard a familiar voice that made him smile and the girl hide behind him. "Mr Carson, have you by any chance seen Lily?"

"Indeed I have..." He stepped aside revealing the girl hiding from her mother.

"Lily Elsie Bates" Anna said angry "you've run from nanny again and now you're taking Mr Carson's time. I am glad she doesn't know it yet so you could go back to the nursery, and join master Gorge in your lessons." The ladies maid said pretending to be angry and watched her daughter as she procrastinated. "Now, please, or I will feel a need to tell your father about it."

Lily finally found her legs and ran upstairs as quickly as they would carry her.

"I'm ever so sorry, Mr Carson" Anna said backing out of his pantry with an apologetic smile. "She and miss Sybil keep evading the nanny and nothing I say seems to make a difference."

"She is no problem." Carson smelled the flowers again. "You know, she's just as nice and sweet as her mother."

The lush compliment from the stern butler didn't escape Anna and she blushed a littl leaving the room comepletely and moving to the servants hall. And young Lily realy did take from her mother a lot. She was small, dainty and with fair coloring. And she did seem to want to make everyone feel good whenever possible. He and Elsie assumed at some point role of surrogate grandparents when the little thing insisted she wanted her own 'granny' having been told by a proud Sybil that hers were very nice.

He was rather happy with that turn of events and Elsie seemed to be a natural. Anna and Bates still lived in a small set of rooms in a distant, rarely ever used wing of the upstair since it was easier for them and the child. And Lady Mary and Lady Grantham seemed to shot down every single attempt at even starting a discussion about moving back to the cottage. Carson thought that the ladies rather enjoyed the house full of children and both Sybbie and George were very fond of the youngest Bates. The family was also still very fond of her parents. And no unfairly. Both were good at their job, but most importantly very loyal and proved it over and over over the years. This was not to be taken lightly, especially in a time when more and more servants were even eager to sell any secret they got their hands on.

And ever since Mr Bates came back the whole household seemed to be steadier, both upstairs and downstairs.

1945

"Lily, why aren't you in your bed by now?" Anna asked warily coming into the servant's hall after helping Lady Mary prepare for sleep.

"I can't sleep, mom." The young woman turned and sighed. "I keep thinking something is going to happen. That a letter would come any moment, saying that he's…"

Anna went to her daughter and hugged her warmly. Everyting was wrong this last month ever since receiving a note from the war office in december, saying that George Crawley was shot down and missing.

"His father went missing too, you know." Anna tried to comfort her. "In the war. But he came back. I think George might just be like his father. Maybe he will be back in no time."

"But it's been a month now!"

Anna sat there and decided to only mention the good times. Telling her precious only daughter that Matthew Crawley came back severly wounded that second time would do nothing to assuage the girls fears.

"You'll see, he will come back and it will all be okay again."

Seeing her precious, wise, brave daughter in this state of distress was heartwrenching. Thankfully she was still living in the big house even when Anna and John moved to the cottage because of John's problems with his knee, so her father wasn't exactly aware how unhappy she was. Still worried, Anna walked Lily to her room and tucked her into bed. She waited until her daughter had fallen asleep and walked home.

It was the next morning that welcomed her most pleasantly. She came into the Abbey rather early but it seemed everyone was already awake and in high spirits. The first person she saw was Sybil, sitting in the servant's hall with a wide smile and speaking to Thomas gesturing wildly.

"Anna!" Sybil shrieked and hugged her warmly.

"Lady Sybil, I didn't know you were coming back from London today? Does your father know?"

"He left just before they arrived." Thomas supplied the information. It was strange to see him smiling so much but it was probably due to Sybils presence. "James went to fetch him."

"You said 'they'?"

"George came with me."

"Thank God." Anna felt a huge stone leaving her chest at the happy mention of the youngest Crawley. "He's with his mother probably, so I won't go to her now. Give them time."

"I don't think it would be necessary, Lady Mary is alone in her room." Tomas said. "She rang not long ago, no doubt wanting to speak to you."

"What? What about Lord George?"

"He left, taking Lily with him. Went towards the pond."

Anna couldn't blame the young. They both felt very strongly about each other. Ever since they grew up a little they were inseparable and long separation, as well as thinking they may not see each other again must have been hard. There was also something Anna was wary to name and recognize for it could end in tears. The two young seemed to be emotionally involved, maybe there was even love between them. She just hoped they wouldn't do anything stupid.

"My Lady?" Anna said entering Mary's bedroom. "I'm sorry, my Lord, I just…" she added when she noticed Mary's husband just leaving for his dressing room.

"It's okay, Anna, I was woken up some time before. Have a good talk" he said with a wink in Mary's direction.

"We will, Tony."

"My Lady?" Anna asked, wondering what was it all about.

"You've probably heard George had some back?"

"Yes, Lady Sybil told me."

"He came here first, barely let me wake up before demanding I give him my old engagement ring and then left, taking Lily to the pond, as far as I know."

"Why are you smiling, my lady?" Anna asked. Lady Mary's smile was surely contagious in this matter.

"Because I think you need to start calling me 'Mary', without the Lady." Mary chuckled. "And I need to find another ladys maid soon. It wouldn't do for George's mother in law to be a servant."

"What?" Anna started to connect all that was being said but was still a little shocked.

"I may not be Granny, but even I know it would be uncomfortable. Thank God Bates is already an estate agent or it would be much more complicated."

"And you really wouldn't mind for them to…?"

"You're asking if I mind that my daughter in law would be from another class? Absolutely." The words made Anna pale momentarily. "But as far as I know there is no woman better for him. And I think mama would agree with me. Times have changed and such unions are not unheard of. And while Lily is born from another social class she was born and raised here in this house and she knows how everything is done. Besides, her parents come highly recommended."

Anna had to smile at such compliment.

"She will be good for him, by the way. She is good." Mary turned Anna's attention back to her. "I am really happy for them."

"Me too."

The two women allowed the happy tears to flow then. The employer and a servant, two friends now. Everything was falling into place once again.


End file.
